and this is also what we call my life
Oct. 9th, 2008 11:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nightflightI've had the worst luck with everything in the world lately, but today was, honest to God, the best day of my life.
So today I skipped work to go to Ryuichi's weirdo band's concert.
I went with my friend Mariko. So much happened that I'm at a weird place of not wanting to forget a thing but also not remembering how or what to write. Mariko is lovely and entirely insane, which are two things I completely admire in her. After getting lost for an hour trying to find McDonalds and then the club, we got there early enough to see Ryuichi arrive.
I need to put this into perspective.
Ryuichi is one of the three members of w-inds., also known as My Favorite Thing in the Entire World. And suddenly here he was, walking by me, less than a foot away from me.
I need to put this into perspective.
RYUICHI OGATA.
A FOOT AWAY FROM ME.
IN A JACKET, SUNGLASSES, AND BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING JEANS.
I was dumbstruck. Guys, he is SO GORGEOUS. I am going to sound like all those obnoxious Ryuichi fangirls now because HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL, I honest to God could not believe it, and while you knew I'd say he was beautiful, guys, like, I cannot stress this.
He is so, so, so amazingly gorgeous, he puts his best photographs to shame.
Flawless skin. Those perfect lips. That gorgeous hair. Taller than I imagined. Slender but built. Holy shit. I had all these plans -- I was going to be so obnoxious! -- but I forgot all of them and just stared as Mariko, my bravest friend in the world, gave him a present she had bought for him. He was a little dumbfounded because she is adorable and hyper and super, super gyaru, and right next to her is the stupidest looking foreigner in the world.
He looked back at us as he entered the building.
That was that, I thought. And that was enough. I was on cloud nine.
I need to put this into perspective.
If you had told me last year that I would have gone to a w-inds. live, I would have called you a liar.
If you told me two, I would have called you a super liar, just to add insult onto injury.
If you told me I would one day be standing one foot away from Ryuichi, I would have punched you in the face.
And yet it happened.
We loitered some more. We entered the building to wait to go in. Ryuichi came out at one point to walk past us, meaning that I was a foot away from him twice.
TWICE.
RYUICHI OGATA.
ONE FOOT AWAY.
FROM ME.
Eventually we went down into the club. It was a tiny live house, about the size of my old apartment -- my apartment may have been bigger, really. We stood pretty close to the front and waited.
RADIO FOUNDATION -- Ryuichi's band -- was just one of six bands playing that day. The live technically started at six. We'd been waiting since 1-ish. We waited some more. Four bands played before RADIO, and while I'd love to detail all of them (two were particularly good), my feet were sore and my eyes were wet from the lights and my ears were close to bleeding with pain.
But then we saw him.
RADIO was next.
I took a crappy cell phone photo that I'll have to upload later. I was about five feet from him, maybe. He took off his sunglasses and his jacket. He was wearing a skin-tight heather gray t-shirt with a scoop neck. Those tight jeans. Brown boots. He was so handsome I could die. Everyone in the live house -- I'd estimate there were about 70 of us -- were w-inds. fans, so he had our entire attention as he set up his guitar and helped get the instruments ready.
Then they played. I can't tell you much about them. Ryuichi was obviously flustered, because he kept trying to speak and then zoning out. I kept looking into his eyes, as well as a person can do it unrequited. Guys, there are no words in the English language. His muscles were strong underneath his shirt. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, and every time he looked my way I found myself beaming.
There he was. Ryuichi! Ryuichi Ogata! The Ryuichi I've loved for so long! The Ryuichi who was my favorite when w-inds. debuted. Ryuchan! Right. THERE.
The live ended. Mariko -- bless her heart -- was not about to let it end, and neither was anyone else. We waited by the door for them to come out. And waited. And waited.
...
And they did.
People were asking for handshakes and things and Ryuichi was obliging. Mariko and I were waiting at the top of the stairs out of the main room. I was the first one on top.
"Otsukaresama desu," I said and reached out my hand.
He looked at me with a look of both confusion and amusement and TOOK MY HAND.
I of course covered it with my other one.
"Arigatou gozaimasu," I said.
He smiled at me.
Let me repeat.
He smiled at me.
sdfsdfjsdlfjdsjfdsfjdsljfds
sdjsjslafjsdlfjdslfjdsjfsdljfs
djfdskjfsdflsdjfljsalfjsdlfjsdlfjs
sjdfslfjsdjfsdfkdsfjsfjsdfdsfsd
I feel like an 80s sitcom character because I am honestly like I DON'T WANT TO WASH MY HAND.
So. I was satisfied with that. How could I not be? I was more than satisfied. I got to see Ryuichi. I got to touch Ryuichi. I got him to hear my voice. I got a smile from him. I was crying. I never thought anything like this would actually happen to me.
However, I was with Mariko, who is, as I said, absolutely and entirely insane.
"Let's wait outside to see him off," she says.
So we wait outside. At one point, he walks back into the building, and suddenly we're all chatterboxes, shouting respective otsukaresamas and arigatous (and ooki ni from me, natch) at him.
A few minutes pass. A friend comes out saying Ryuichi is still in the building and she got his autograph. We suddenly need autographs badly, Mariko decides, and I am willing to play along. We put out whatever we can -- for me, it was some postcard I was given by a random lady in Namba -- and race back into the club and down the stairs to wait for Ryuichi.
And then he comes out.
I felt vaguely uncomfortable at this point but apparently THIS IS HOW FANS IN JAPAN ACT and hence it is okay. He signed Mariko's CD. Then he signed my thing, again with that look of utter bemusement, looking at me the entire time. He signs a few more autographs for a few people and then we walk up the stairs with him.
I decide it's, as we say here, guts time.
In Japanese:
Me: Ryuichi-kun, you have a lot of fans in America, so I hope you can come to America sometime. ♥
Him: (absolutely warmly, as Mariko later lamented happily) I'm sorry we haven't.
There you go guys. That one's for the team.
So then I AM BEYOND SATISFIED. THIS IS GOOD. I CAN GO HOME NOW.
But we're not finished yet.
Mariko's friend, who is a Ryuichi fangirl, is there and was not able to get a signature because she is too shy to approach him. So Mariko is on a new mission. I suddenly decide that I too am on a mission -- I need to get an autograph for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
onmyownroad.
All this time, Ryuichi had disappeared somewhere. And suddenly he was back, turning the corner.
Mariko sprints. Other girls are starting to surround him too. I, having lost all shame at this point, join in.
Mariko gets her friend the autograph. People are getting random things signed -- their keitai, their CDs, their hands. I reach into my bag and pull out the tour house guide.
Why not, I think.
"Ryuichi," I say in Japanese, "will you please sign this for my friend in America? She couldn't come."
He looks at my book and laughs.
"Whaa? This book? Are you sure?" he says, utterly amused. Everyone's laughing, I'm laughing, because it really was the most random thing to choose.
"I'm sure! It's fine! Please!" I say, and it occurs to me later that it was the same tone I'd take with a friend.
He looks at it thoughtfully and signs it dramatically before handing it back to me.
I need to put this into perspective.
Two signatures from Ryuichi Ogata.
Two small conversations with Ryuichi Ogata.
One two handed handshake with Ryuichi Ogata.
A couple of smiles and an amused laugh from Ryuichi Ogata.
Holy shit.
So after getting that done, he walks off to the parking lot. We all call after him.
"OTSUKARESAMA!" some say.
"ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!" others cry out.
It's time to play the gaijin card.
"THANK YOU!" I shout in loud English.
Without looking back, he throws a peace sign under his arm.
RYUICHI.
We ended up waiting at the parking lot to see him off. They took their time. He helped his bandmates load the car. Then he sat on one of the cement blocks (in the front of the parking spaces) and ate a huge grape from a crate of grapes and drank a can of malt. Then he came right around us and paid for their parking. He's so gorgeous. Words cannot describe.
Then it's time for them to go. We walk into the lot to see them off.
Ryuichi decides to walk along the beam instead of in the road, despite the fact that he just recovered from a leg injury and there was no need to do that other than to show off a bit. Then he jumps onto the side of the car and hangs on as he calls out directions to the driver, then he jumps off.
"Arigatou, Ryuichi-kun!" I say and make a heart with my fingertips.
He looks right at me and gives me a small two-fingered wave, still with that utterly amused look on his face.
We all say our goodbyes. He gets in the car. They drive off, and as they drive off, one of his other bandmates peeks out of the roof of the car and blows us kisses.
And then it's done.
We loiter around a bit, crying and sniffling and smiling and oh my God, did all that just happen, before heading to our respective homes, riding the Midosuji together as far as we could. I went to the combini, bought food I haven't touched yet, and wrote this.
Guys. I can't put this into words. I can't. I can't fully describe this experience. I wish I could take all of you who love w-inds. and transport you back in time a few hours with me. We were so annoying but he was so patient and kind with us. He thought one of the pens we used to sign things belonged to me so he tried to get the girls to hand it back to me. I keep remembering small details. He was so sweet. Never once did he seem angry or frustrated, just amused and surprised.
I've had such an awful time lately. Life is falling apart at the seams. But today Ryuichi gave me the greatest day. I am so happy.
I'll probably remember more later. I just wanted to get this all out now, before I forgot.
I touched his hands, guys. I TALKED TO HIM AND HE TALKED BACK. I met his eyes and we exchanged words. Ryuichi. RYUICHI.
How am I supposed to go to sleep?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
So today I skipped work to go to Ryuichi's weirdo band's concert.
I went with my friend Mariko. So much happened that I'm at a weird place of not wanting to forget a thing but also not remembering how or what to write. Mariko is lovely and entirely insane, which are two things I completely admire in her. After getting lost for an hour trying to find McDonalds and then the club, we got there early enough to see Ryuichi arrive.
I need to put this into perspective.
Ryuichi is one of the three members of w-inds., also known as My Favorite Thing in the Entire World. And suddenly here he was, walking by me, less than a foot away from me.
I need to put this into perspective.
RYUICHI OGATA.
A FOOT AWAY FROM ME.
IN A JACKET, SUNGLASSES, AND BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING JEANS.
I was dumbstruck. Guys, he is SO GORGEOUS. I am going to sound like all those obnoxious Ryuichi fangirls now because HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL, I honest to God could not believe it, and while you knew I'd say he was beautiful, guys, like, I cannot stress this.
He is so, so, so amazingly gorgeous, he puts his best photographs to shame.
Flawless skin. Those perfect lips. That gorgeous hair. Taller than I imagined. Slender but built. Holy shit. I had all these plans -- I was going to be so obnoxious! -- but I forgot all of them and just stared as Mariko, my bravest friend in the world, gave him a present she had bought for him. He was a little dumbfounded because she is adorable and hyper and super, super gyaru, and right next to her is the stupidest looking foreigner in the world.
He looked back at us as he entered the building.
That was that, I thought. And that was enough. I was on cloud nine.
I need to put this into perspective.
If you had told me last year that I would have gone to a w-inds. live, I would have called you a liar.
If you told me two, I would have called you a super liar, just to add insult onto injury.
If you told me I would one day be standing one foot away from Ryuichi, I would have punched you in the face.
And yet it happened.
We loitered some more. We entered the building to wait to go in. Ryuichi came out at one point to walk past us, meaning that I was a foot away from him twice.
TWICE.
RYUICHI OGATA.
ONE FOOT AWAY.
FROM ME.
Eventually we went down into the club. It was a tiny live house, about the size of my old apartment -- my apartment may have been bigger, really. We stood pretty close to the front and waited.
RADIO FOUNDATION -- Ryuichi's band -- was just one of six bands playing that day. The live technically started at six. We'd been waiting since 1-ish. We waited some more. Four bands played before RADIO, and while I'd love to detail all of them (two were particularly good), my feet were sore and my eyes were wet from the lights and my ears were close to bleeding with pain.
But then we saw him.
RADIO was next.
I took a crappy cell phone photo that I'll have to upload later. I was about five feet from him, maybe. He took off his sunglasses and his jacket. He was wearing a skin-tight heather gray t-shirt with a scoop neck. Those tight jeans. Brown boots. He was so handsome I could die. Everyone in the live house -- I'd estimate there were about 70 of us -- were w-inds. fans, so he had our entire attention as he set up his guitar and helped get the instruments ready.
Then they played. I can't tell you much about them. Ryuichi was obviously flustered, because he kept trying to speak and then zoning out. I kept looking into his eyes, as well as a person can do it unrequited. Guys, there are no words in the English language. His muscles were strong underneath his shirt. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, and every time he looked my way I found myself beaming.
There he was. Ryuichi! Ryuichi Ogata! The Ryuichi I've loved for so long! The Ryuichi who was my favorite when w-inds. debuted. Ryuchan! Right. THERE.
The live ended. Mariko -- bless her heart -- was not about to let it end, and neither was anyone else. We waited by the door for them to come out. And waited. And waited.
...
And they did.
People were asking for handshakes and things and Ryuichi was obliging. Mariko and I were waiting at the top of the stairs out of the main room. I was the first one on top.
"Otsukaresama desu," I said and reached out my hand.
He looked at me with a look of both confusion and amusement and TOOK MY HAND.
I of course covered it with my other one.
"Arigatou gozaimasu," I said.
He smiled at me.
Let me repeat.
He smiled at me.
sdfsdfjsdlfjdsjfdsfjdsljfds
sdjsjslafjsdlfjdslfjdsjfsdljfs
djfdskjfsdflsdjfljsalfjsdlfjsdlfjs
sjdfslfjsdjfsdfkdsfjsfjsdfdsfsd
I feel like an 80s sitcom character because I am honestly like I DON'T WANT TO WASH MY HAND.
So. I was satisfied with that. How could I not be? I was more than satisfied. I got to see Ryuichi. I got to touch Ryuichi. I got him to hear my voice. I got a smile from him. I was crying. I never thought anything like this would actually happen to me.
However, I was with Mariko, who is, as I said, absolutely and entirely insane.
"Let's wait outside to see him off," she says.
So we wait outside. At one point, he walks back into the building, and suddenly we're all chatterboxes, shouting respective otsukaresamas and arigatous (and ooki ni from me, natch) at him.
A few minutes pass. A friend comes out saying Ryuichi is still in the building and she got his autograph. We suddenly need autographs badly, Mariko decides, and I am willing to play along. We put out whatever we can -- for me, it was some postcard I was given by a random lady in Namba -- and race back into the club and down the stairs to wait for Ryuichi.
And then he comes out.
I felt vaguely uncomfortable at this point but apparently THIS IS HOW FANS IN JAPAN ACT and hence it is okay. He signed Mariko's CD. Then he signed my thing, again with that look of utter bemusement, looking at me the entire time. He signs a few more autographs for a few people and then we walk up the stairs with him.
I decide it's, as we say here, guts time.
In Japanese:
Me: Ryuichi-kun, you have a lot of fans in America, so I hope you can come to America sometime. ♥
Him: (absolutely warmly, as Mariko later lamented happily) I'm sorry we haven't.
There you go guys. That one's for the team.
So then I AM BEYOND SATISFIED. THIS IS GOOD. I CAN GO HOME NOW.
But we're not finished yet.
Mariko's friend, who is a Ryuichi fangirl, is there and was not able to get a signature because she is too shy to approach him. So Mariko is on a new mission. I suddenly decide that I too am on a mission -- I need to get an autograph for
onmyownroad.All this time, Ryuichi had disappeared somewhere. And suddenly he was back, turning the corner.
Mariko sprints. Other girls are starting to surround him too. I, having lost all shame at this point, join in.
Mariko gets her friend the autograph. People are getting random things signed -- their keitai, their CDs, their hands. I reach into my bag and pull out the tour house guide.
Why not, I think.
"Ryuichi," I say in Japanese, "will you please sign this for my friend in America? She couldn't come."
He looks at my book and laughs.
"Whaa? This book? Are you sure?" he says, utterly amused. Everyone's laughing, I'm laughing, because it really was the most random thing to choose.
"I'm sure! It's fine! Please!" I say, and it occurs to me later that it was the same tone I'd take with a friend.
He looks at it thoughtfully and signs it dramatically before handing it back to me.
I need to put this into perspective.
Two signatures from Ryuichi Ogata.
Two small conversations with Ryuichi Ogata.
One two handed handshake with Ryuichi Ogata.
A couple of smiles and an amused laugh from Ryuichi Ogata.
Holy shit.
So after getting that done, he walks off to the parking lot. We all call after him.
"OTSUKARESAMA!" some say.
"ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!" others cry out.
It's time to play the gaijin card.
"THANK YOU!" I shout in loud English.
Without looking back, he throws a peace sign under his arm.
RYUICHI.
We ended up waiting at the parking lot to see him off. They took their time. He helped his bandmates load the car. Then he sat on one of the cement blocks (in the front of the parking spaces) and ate a huge grape from a crate of grapes and drank a can of malt. Then he came right around us and paid for their parking. He's so gorgeous. Words cannot describe.
Then it's time for them to go. We walk into the lot to see them off.
Ryuichi decides to walk along the beam instead of in the road, despite the fact that he just recovered from a leg injury and there was no need to do that other than to show off a bit. Then he jumps onto the side of the car and hangs on as he calls out directions to the driver, then he jumps off.
"Arigatou, Ryuichi-kun!" I say and make a heart with my fingertips.
He looks right at me and gives me a small two-fingered wave, still with that utterly amused look on his face.
We all say our goodbyes. He gets in the car. They drive off, and as they drive off, one of his other bandmates peeks out of the roof of the car and blows us kisses.
And then it's done.
We loiter around a bit, crying and sniffling and smiling and oh my God, did all that just happen, before heading to our respective homes, riding the Midosuji together as far as we could. I went to the combini, bought food I haven't touched yet, and wrote this.
Guys. I can't put this into words. I can't. I can't fully describe this experience. I wish I could take all of you who love w-inds. and transport you back in time a few hours with me. We were so annoying but he was so patient and kind with us. He thought one of the pens we used to sign things belonged to me so he tried to get the girls to hand it back to me. I keep remembering small details. He was so sweet. Never once did he seem angry or frustrated, just amused and surprised.
I've had such an awful time lately. Life is falling apart at the seams. But today Ryuichi gave me the greatest day. I am so happy.
I'll probably remember more later. I just wanted to get this all out now, before I forgot.
I touched his hands, guys. I TALKED TO HIM AND HE TALKED BACK. I met his eyes and we exchanged words. Ryuichi. RYUICHI.
How am I supposed to go to sleep?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 03:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 03:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 03:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 03:37 pm (UTC)I can't believe you got to meet him, but I kinda knew that you would LOL. Mariko is so nuts and cute, I hope I get to meet her one day XD
Yaaaay autograph!!! On a book? Is it a good book?
So, he's hot, huh? Mmmmm :D
no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 03:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 08:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 09:06 pm (UTC)I am so happy that your dreams came true, with the lives and the autographs, and the conversations.
With all of your bravery and your determination, I couldn't think of a better person to experience all that joy.
<3
no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-09 10:47 pm (UTC)Okay, that honestly took me twenty minutes or something to read because I have been squealing in utter jealousy but excitement because OH MY GOD YOU MET OGATA RYUICHI AND I WANT TO, TOO. TAKE ME WITH YOUUUUUUU.
Thank you for that, I really felt like I was there. And he is quite possibly one of the sweetest people on the earth, oh god. And asjfhjkashfjhsafljg man, I am really high right now. *dies* Ri, I am so happy for you, this is definitely what you've deserved.
AMERICA WHUT. COME TO NYC NEXT TIME.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 12:51 am (UTC)I'm super happy for you :D
no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 01:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-10 03:51 am (UTC)